Today I got sad, then mad, and then serious

Today my sister-in-law posted some pictures on facebook. I was devastated, I took one look at one picture in particular and burst into tears. I couldn't believe that was me but there was no denying it. The reality of what I had done to myself was right there.

The pictures that my sister-in-law posted were so horrible I knew my BMI was high. I didn't know I was really THAT BIG!

The gray sure I'd just bought at old navy it fits all wrong it cover my fat rolls into one roll and makes me look like I'm pregnant. When I had tried that shirt on in the store ~ 4 days earlier I thought I looked so good. I was so excited to find a shirt I looked cute in. But I was horribly disappointed by this picture.


I can be very emotional I realize this but when I saw these pictures I felt my throat get tight, I had burning in my chest and before I knew it I'd burst into tears.

I cried intermittently over the last 2 hours. My husband has tried in vain to comfort me but to no avail. I cannot be comforted when I feel like this.

I just get so I cant set still if I do then I have time to feel sorry for myself and I sob uncontrollably. But if I keep myself busy then I just whimper and let little tears fall.

I am now creating a blog tohmake myself accountable and to as a way to record my thoughts goals, efforts and the results from those efforts.

218 LBS,

That is the result of the cold hard reality of this night...